


Hit Or Miss (Text AU)

by bluebell_badbitch (orphan_account)



Category: IT (2017) RPF, IT - Stephen King
Genre: A lot - Freeform, Abusive Parents, Alcohol, Angst, Aromantic Asexual Mike Hanlon, Asexual Mike Hanlon, Asexual Stanley Uris, Beverly Marsh Knows Everything, Beverly Marsh is a Good Friend, Bisexual Beverly Marsh, Bisexual Richie Tozier, But All The Others Are Out, Cigarettes, Drugs, Eddie Kaspbrak Has Anxiety, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak is a Mess, Everyone Loves Mike Hanlon, Everyone is Gay Except Ben Hanscom, Fluff, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Gay Stanley Uris, Heterosexual Ben Hanscom, Humor, Inappropriate Humor, Its kinda hot, M/M, Mike Hanlon Deserves Nice Things, Modern AU, Oblivious Eddie Kaspbrak, Oblivious Richie Tozier, Post-Pennywise (IT), Richie Is Closeted, Richie Is Lowkey Edgy, Richie Tozier & Stanley Uris Are Best Friends, Richie Tozier Flirts, Richie Tozier Has ADHD, Richie Tozier Has Anxiety, Richie Tozier Has Issues, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier is Whipped, Richie Tozier is a Little Shit, Richie Tozier is a Mess, Richies Parents Suck, Sad Richie Tozier, Secret keeper bev, Smol Bean Eddie, Smol Bean Richie, Soft Richie Tozier, Sonia Kaspbrak's A+ Parenting, Stanley Uris Has OCD - Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, The Losers Are In Highschool, highschool
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2020-10-14 19:11:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 3,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20605877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/bluebell_badbitch
Summary: richie makes a group chat.they're crackheads, they're depressed, they're gay, and they defeated a motherfuckin clown.





	1. meet the memie teamie

**Author's Note:**

> if the group name is on top its the gc, it its a private chet it will say something like this 
> 
> bev & richie & eddie
> 
> or whatever.

**hit or miss**

**richie: **i guess they never miss, huh?

**beverly: **you got a boyfriend, i bet he doesn't kiss ya!

**stan: **stop it

**richie: **MWaH

**beverly: **he gon find another and he won't miss ya!

**richie:** he gon skirt up on that dab like wiz kahlifa

**stan: **i hate you both

**eddie: **the fuck was that??

**bill: **o...kay?

**richie: **y'all are so mean

**beverly: **rooooood

**stan: **how are we being rude?

**-richie changed stan's name to stan the man-**

**-richie changed eddie's name to spagett-**

**-richie changed bill's name to big boi bill-**

**-richie changed beverly's name to bestieee-**

**mike: **nice

**-richie changed mike's name to mike n ike-**

**ben: **do i get a nickname?

**-richie changed ben's name to bennie boy-**

**spagett: **why is bev your bestie?? im hurt rich :((

**richie: **aww :(( don't worry, i still fuck your mom so we can be friends too

**spagett: **nevermind, i take it back

**-spagett changed spagett's name to eddie-**

**-richie changed eddie's name to eds-**

**eds: **you're a dumb whore

**richie: **ouch.

**richie: **i gotta go, see yall later.


	2. i dressed up as a furry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> richie gets detention and needs eddie to pick him up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so after this chapter things are gonna start getting angstier but don't worry, there are many jokes about furries and mothers to come.

**richie rich- spaghetti noodle**

**richie rich- **hey eds... come pick me up?

**spaghetti noodle- **depends, where are you

**richie rich- **school

**spaghetti noodle- **it's saturday

**richie rich- **really? didn't notice

**richie rich- **i had detention, dumbass

**spaghetti noodle- **again? why

**richie rich- **fucking your mom

**richie rich- **jk

**richie rich-**... unless-

**spaghetti noodle- **i fucking hate you

**richie rich- **ouch

**spaghetti noodle- **really though, why**?**

**richie rich- **i dressed up as a furry

**richie rich- **brought my pet turtle and threw it at bowers

**richie rich- **showered in the urinal

**richie rich- **any of those believable?

**spaghetti noodle- **no. seriously, rich, do you want me to come get you or not

**richie rich-** wait your 15 you can't even drive

**spaghetti noodle-** i know that.

**richie rich- **you'd do that for me!! aww, eds im so honored that you love me that much, considering ill be your stepdad soon

**spaghetti noodle- **wow, guess im not picking you up then

**richie rich- **NOOOO imma die fam

**spaghetti noodle- **then tell me why

**richie rich- **i got up in the middle of a test and walked out of the room.

**spaghetti noodle-**...richie, we've talked about this, you can't do that.

**richie rich- **it was frustrating, okay! you know im not good at math

**spaghetti noodle- **ok, im sorry. ill be there in five, and then ill help you out with your math, okay?

**richie rich- **thanks, eddie.


	3. that feel when you need an intervention (part uno)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the losers (minus richie) discuss his behavior and come to some... shocking conclusions.

**richie rich needs an intervention**

**stan- okay? but why isn't richie on here**

**bev- because i don't know whats wrong**

**mike- but you made the chat?? i am?? confusion??**

**bev- hes just been acting...weird. haven't you noticed?**

**bill- he's richie. he's weird. im sorry, he's great but... he's richie**

**bev- but he's been... weirder than normal. i don't know. have you guys noticed anything?**

**eddie- kind of.**

**bev- SEE! im not fucking crazy**

**eddie- i never said that honey, i just said your right**

**bev-piss off**

**bev- back to richie... he just... i don't know.**

**stan- i guess he has been kinda off. yesterday he started Grey's Anatomy and didn't even stop to sleep, eat, drink, pee until he was more than halfway through season two**

**ben- he was literally shaking at the assembly a few days ago... when i asked him why he just said it was too loud**

**eddie- ironic, considering how annoyingly loud he is**

**bill- eddie, don't you think that's kinda rude? i mean, there's obviously something goin on with him**

**eddie- whatever. i have to go.**

**eddie- but he flinches when i touch him sometimes. im pissed at him, but im worried too**


	4. that feel when you're out of cornflakes

**bev & richie **

**(2:38 PM)**

**richie- **am i okay?

**bev- **i dont know, chich, are you?

**richie-** i dont really know either

**richie-** sometimes its like i dont really know what im saying

**richie-** cuz i just say whatever comes into my head first, and my head thinks to fast for me to think with it

**richie-** ya know?

**richie-** and like i think eds is mad at me

**richie-** cuz ive been kinda mean to him lately

**richie-** but im just really scared

**richie-** i dont want him to hate me

**bev-** ...richie, i think i need to come over

**richie-** no! no, you don't

**bev & richie**

**(2:56 PM)**

**bev- **richie, i need you to talk to me.

**bev**\- i got here almost ten minutes ago and you haven't spoken a word.

**richie-** can't

**bev-** richie? you're scaring me, rich

**bev-** rich you gotta at least let me see your face

**bev-** are you crying?

**bev-** richie i know youre reading these

**bev-** im literally in your room, just say something

**bev-** type something?

**richie-** it hurts

**bev-** what?

**richie**\- my brain. hurts.

**bev**\- im gonna lay down with you know, okay? and im gonna hug you till your okay, richie. youre gonna feel better.


	5. that feel when you probably still need an intervention because your dying

**hit or miss**

**(10:58)**

**bill- richie, class started.**

**bill- i dotn give a shit if you don't wanna show up any other day but we need partners**

**bill- richie the only person left is belch**

**bill- bitch if you don't get here right now i will fight you**

**richie- on my way, billiam!**

**eddie- i can confirm, he just sprinted past my class and nearly ra into the wall**

**bill- wonderful**

**(11:12)**

**bill- richard where are you**

**bill- it's been ten minutes**

**bill- im working aloneeeeee**

**bill- richard?**

**bill- the teachers marking you absent**

**bill- you're gonna get an F on the paper**

**bill- rich?**

**(11:38)**

**bev- meet me in the hallway between the library and english**

**bev- the scary one with no lights**

**ben- why?**

**bev- richie**

**mike- what about him?**

**bev- i found him passed out. just come here, please**

**bev- he's bleeding**

**bev- a lot**

**bev- it's all over**

**bev- i can't tell where it is coming from**

**bev- help**


	6. I, Richie Tozier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> not a texting chapter!!!

The group took Richie back to Bill's place, considering his parents were out until next week. It was only once he was laid down on Bill's dark blue comforter, glasses resting on the bedside table, that they realized just how bad he looked.   
  


His dark, curly hair was tangled, pretty much sticking in every direction. It was red-tinted in some places from the blood that had lowed into it. He had deep purple circles under his eyes, and his body was bony and pale. His ace was slightly sunken in, it looked as if he hadn't eaten for days. There was a gash on his cheek that Eddie had finally managed to bandage up, and his chest, ribs, practically his whole torso was littered in purple, blue, ad green bruises. There were little cuts all over his legs as if someone decided to throw him into a pool of glass.

As the other losers looked on, they couldn't even imagine what had happened. Who would've done this to this to the sweet, albeit sometimes overly talkative, boy?

* * *

They'd been there for what had felt like hours. Bev, Bill, and Mike were in a half-hearted game of go fish, Ben was listening to music, sneaking looks over to Bev, and Stan and Eddie sat on chairs next to the bed, making sure that he was cared for. Bill had snuck a glass bottle out of his dad's cabinet, the group passed it around periodically. 

"Can I have some of that?" a throaty voice asked as Bev took a swig from the bottle, and she dropped it in shock. Eddie threw his arms around Richie, momentarily forgetting about the blood still caked on his body. Richie laughed gently as the rest of the group gathered around the bed.

"Edward Spagedward, nice to see you missed me for once," Richie said, his voice still rough. Eddie pulled back gently, making sure he wasn't dirty.

"What happened?" Bev asked, and Richie grimaced.

"Really, mate," he said, slipping into a weak Australian voice, "I'm fine, it's no big deal!" 

"Richard I swear to fucking god you were bleeding out on the school floor. What happened?" Stan said sternly, and Richie shuddered.

"My parents don't like me that much, y'know?" Richie said, looking at his friends out the window. Bev's eyes shone as she realized what Richie was implying, but the others didn't seem to get it.

"Richie just tell us what-" Eddie started, but a look from Bev and he understood too. "Oh my god." 

"Um they uh- found out about something and they didn't really uh- didn't take it too well," Richie said hesitantly, and Eddie began combing his fingers through his best friend's hair to comfort him. 

The Losers talked for another couple of minutes before Bens's phone started ringing. "My parents need me home," He said, and Richie nodded, pushing himself up. 

"Yeah, my parents may not want me there but I should be going home too." He said, and Eddie shook his head. 

"Nope. No. No fucking way," he said as Ben, Mike, and Bill all made their way to the front door, Mike and Ben to leave, and Bill to say goodbye. "Me and Bev both are on your way, I'm walking you and then we're spending the night at my house and yes, Beverly, that means you too," Eddie finished in a strict tone and Bev nodded dutifully and Richie sighed.

"Really, I'm fi-" 

"Say you're fine one more time and I will personally shred your eyes!" Bev said and Richie's eyes widened as he soundlessly laughed. He (with Eddi and Bev's assistance) hopped up of the bed and made his way downstairs, out the door. 

They walked or about twenty minutes before stopping at Eddie's house.

"Eds, isn't your mom home," Richie asked, and Eddie shook his head.

"Late night bowling," He said with a small laugh, opening the door.

The small group made their way up to Eddie's spotless room, and Richie flopped down onto the bed, Eddie beside him, as Bev sat in a cushy chair.

Richie saw a helium balloon and jumped up with a grin, grabbing the bright pink and yellow thing off the ground. He stabbed a hole in it and plugged it with his finger.

"Children, I have an announcement to make!" he yelled, and Eddie and Bev decided that since he was hurt, they could, just this once, humor him. Richie breathed in the helium from the balloon and grinned.

"I, Richie Tozier," he said in a ridiculously high- pitched voice, "Am a raging homosexual!"


	7. ok boomer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> richie came out but like eddie isn't ready (reddie) for the drama to be over yet so sis is still pining
> 
> also this isn't a texting chapter again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you like it? idk man, i haven't had social media since august 20, i had a spare fucking iPod touch but my mom found that, and im writing fanfiction about 13-year-old gay clown fighting children on my school-issued Chromebook so um... this probably sucks but oh well.

Bev dropped her head into her hands, shaking with silent laughter, as Eddie just shut his eyes and shook his head slowly, trying to hide the small smile on his face.

"What?" Richie asked, his voice still comparable to Pinkie Pie from the My Little Pony episodes Eddie would never admit to watching at two in the morning. "Stanley thought this would be the best out of the other options."

"Wh-what were the other options?" Bev asked, attempting her hardest to stop her hysterical laughter. Richie just sighed deeply, eyes staring deep into her soul.

"You don't wanna know." He said gravely, and Eddie pursed his lips together, eyebrows raising with a waiting question he knows he doesn't want to ask. 

Richie sighed, laying back down on the bed so that his head tipped off the side. Eddie couldn't keep his eyes from straying to his prominent collarbones, the pale skin lightly marred by thin, white scars. Eddie's eyes trailed over to his Adam's apple, bobbing gently when Richie swallowed, before making eye contact with Beverly. She gave him a questioning look before he tore his eyes away, locking them onto his bookshelf where all his movies sat.

Richie followed his gaze and grinned. "Are those movies deadass sorted by how much I like them?" He asked, and Eddie groaned. 

"You always pick the movie, so it's just easier!" he insisted, and Richie raised his eyebrows.

A few moments later, among Richie and Bev's continuous chant of "Die Hard! Die Hard! Die Hard!", nobody heard Richie's cellphone's obnoxious tone ring.

* * *

Eddie sat in between Richie and Bev, his hand barely brushing Rich's. Every time one of his fingers brushed Eddie's he felt a chill run up his spine.

"Do y'all hear something?" Beverly asked, and Eddie and Richie tried to tune their hearing in past the movie. 

"Oh shit, that's my phone," Richie said, pulling it out from under the covers, the song blasting from his phone becoming less muffled. Eddie paused the movie as Bev sang along gently to Rick Astley's iconic voice. She sent Richie a dirty look when he picked up.

Richie visibly swallowed. "Hey mom, is something wrong?" he said into the phone. Beverly looked over, worry evident in her eyes, and Eddie scooted closer to Richie, trying to listen in on the conversation. "Woah, Woah- wait- what?!" Richie near-yelled, quickly hopping off the bed and grabbing his shoes."I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please-" Richie was cut o by a long tone, signaling that his mother hung up. 

"I gotta... I gotta go. Don't wait up for me tomorrow." Richie said, beginning to walk out the door, but Eddie sprang up and grabbed his arm.

"What'd your mom say?" Eddie asked, and Richie shrugged. 

"Nothin' much, Eddie My Love," Richie replied, and they both decided to ignore the blush creeping up Eddie's neck.

"Tell us or you're not leaving," Eddie said sternly, and Richie sighed at his relentlessness.

"My mom found something," Richie said with worry in his tone. "When Stan found out I was gay he gave me a little pride flag... usually I keep it under my pillows but I took it out the other day while I was making my bed and I left it out.". Bev winced, and Richie smiled gently. "My mom found it... she needs me home.".

"I'm not gonna let you go home when we've seen what she's done," Eddie said, and Richie bit his lip at the memory. Beverly nodded in affirmation, a lollipop from who knows where in her mouth.

Richie inhaled, ready to go on a rat about how his mother would kill him in the morning, it wouldn't be that bad, it's better when she's drunk instead of hungover. Eddie just shook his head and Richie sighed, kicking his shoes off once again and hopping on the bed, laying his head on Beverly's lap.

"I gotta go..." Beverly started. Both the boys started to complain but she held a hand up. "My dog's sick and my aunt's a little scared of her," Bev said, a touch of humor in her voice. Richie sighed, pressing his face into Beverly's legs, half asleep. 

"I thought your aunt was in-" Beverly cut Eddie off, raising her eyebrows warningly. 

She gestured a hand down to the back curls o Richie's head. 'I am helping you out here!' she mouthed, and Eddie blushed furiously. 'Don't even lie t me," Bev whispered, and Richie raised his head gently. 

"What?" 

"Nothing Richie," Bev said kissing him on the forehead and laying his head on the bed. She jumped up, hugged Eddie tight, and whispered "Good luck, you little bitch" in Eddie's ear. She jumped out the window, and just like that, there was Richie and Eddie, together, in a dark room. 

Eddie sat on the bed and resumed the movie on low volume so that an almost certainly sleep-deprived Richie could get his rest. Richie grabbed Eddie's hand and tugged gently. Eddie wasn't strong enough to pull away. 

In just a few moments, Richie was laying on Eddie's stomach, grasping his hand. Naturally, Eddie ran his hands through his best friend's hair, trying to control the butterflies in his stomach, not knowing that he was doing the same. Richie looked up at Eddie, his eyes, usually sparking with laughter were sad, and Eddie was sure there was a tear about to spill.

"I'm in love," Richie whispered, and Eddie felt time stop. Why? Why couldn't Richie at least let Eddie fool himself, just for a little bit? Let Eddie think Richie could love him or just a little longer? It was cruel, in a way. Right when Eddie could know for sure that Richie liked boys, he was about to be told he liked Michael, the kind boy in science, or fucking Stan. 

"Who?" Eddie asked, able to keep his voice steady beside the sadness he felt.

Richie took a deep breath and squeezed Eddie's hand. "You're gonna hate me," he whispered in a thin voice, and Eddie tugged on his hair gently. 

"Impossible, Trashmouth," Eddie said with a sad smile.

"I- I like you, Eddie," Richie said. "I like you, and I know that your straight and that I'm wrong but just- please don't hate me-" 

"I like you too!" Eddie said, stumbling over his words in the excitement of it all. 

Richie looked up at him hopefully. "Like-like?" he asked, and Eddie laughed gently, nodding. Richie kissed Eddie's hand and curled himself around him, feeling warm and happy and... content, for once in his life. He didn't feel the need to fidget, or joke, or yell, or scream and tear his hair out. He was content. 


	8. what the fuck richard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i couldnt be bothered to make a decent chapter so herees this?

**what the fuck, richard**

**stan: trashmouth what the literal fuck**

**richie: what**

**bill: there is no way in F U C K I N G H E L L ur just gonna try to ignore the fact that you and eddie held HANDS**

**bev: THEY WHAT**

**ben: THEY WHAT**

**mike: THEY WHAT **

**richie: mmm yeah**

**richie: why do y'all do that, it's freaky**

**stan: are y'all dating**

**eddie: none of your business asshole**

**stan: ouch  
**

**eddie: aww im sorry**

**eddie: but i really don't give a FUCK about your feelings**

**bev: :0**

**mike: oop**

**bill: aH**

**richie: wow guys i think i rubbed off on eddie too quick**

**stan: im too jewish for y'alls shit**

**bill: what's that even supposed to mean**

**stan: fuck if i know**


	9. honestly richie does not deserve this i am so sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> richie likes to pretend hes okay when hes in a lot of pain... we been knew

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when you dont update for like a month and upload a really shitty chapter but pretend like nothing happened :)

**richie**: eddie

**richie**: eds

**richie:** edward

**richie**: eduardo please

**richie**: eddie please

**richie**: eddie i'm really fucking scared

**richie**: eddie please i'm not fucking with you i'm terrified please help me

**eddie**: richie im just doing homework, chill

**richie**: eddie can you come over

**richie**: please

**eddie**: how many times have i told you that i'm not gonna watch who killed captain alex again??

**richie**: eddie mom and dad got really mad and there's blood everywhere and i'm pretty sure it's mine and i feel really fuzzy and i really need you to come over

**eddie**: holy shit ok im bringing my medical stuff

**eddie**: richie i need you to keep texting me so i know youre not dead okay?

**richie**: okay

**eddie**: can you call me so i can talk to you?

**richie**: i think talking may be a bit of a problem right now, eddie dearest

**richie**: i wonder where my glasses are

**richie**: oh well i found a piece of them in my hand

**richie**: thats not good

**eddie**: shit okay can you come open the door

**richie**: okay, but just... don't scream or anything, okay? 

**eddie**: okay? i'm sure it's nothing compared to what happened last time

**richie**: trust me, you'll be laughing at that statement

**eddie**: ? dipshit just open the door

**richie**: fine DAD

**eddie**: more like DADDY

**eddie**: oh god i did not just make that joke

**richie**: oh yes you fucking did

**eddie**: if your well enough to be indulging in your terrible sense of humor, im sure you can't be that bad

**richie**: im opening the door, one sec

**eddie**: ...rich

**eddie**: you need to get to a hospital, NOW

**richie**: why do you say that, eddie dearest?

**eddie**: richie your fucking crying stop joking around

**eddie**: baby im calling the cops

**richie**: its not as bad as it looks

**eddie**: richie your mouth is sewn shut... they'll be here soon. let me wrap your throat up better, ok baby?

**richie**: okay


End file.
